Friday, January 28, 2005

Dreams last so long...

I'm sitting in my school library during Spanish Class. I have a brochure to do but I can't do it. Not right now. I'm listening to Jewel and hoping this Jewel faze will end soon. It's fun to write when you feel like you could 'get in trouble' any second. The assistant Librarian comes in every few seconds to check if were working. None of us are but she doesn't know. She's a sweet woman. No one gets along with her except me. We bond over the O.C. every week.
"Hands' Is playing on repeat. I turn it up a little higher.
Some first years are trying to read what I'm writing. Molli asked me a few minutes ago who I was writing to. I paused, looked at her and didn't respond. That's really unlike me... I feel guilty now.
It's almost three... which means class is over. My advisee area is in the Library so I don't really have to go anywhere. I have to stack the chairs in the fish bowl though. Shit, do you see what our school is like?
Miyoshi is jumping up and down behind me.
Deep Water has started to play. I bought "You were meant for me" last night. It's terrible, I love it. My mom is going through the same faze. See, See? This is what's wrong with me.
Maxine just turned the lights out. I have fifteen more minutes until I have to go.
A few days ago our grade went on a field trip to 'Eyes Wide Open' an exabition about the war. The Friends Service committee put it together. It was a room full of boots. One for every soldier who died. Georgia and Sam were supposed to Make out that day so I was a little preoccupied.
Jeramies coming in to say hi! I like her. She knows more spanish then me.
The gallery was nice, I guess. I don't know if that's what I should say. Nice? It was moving, no it wasn't. It was a good experience. I'm glad we went. But attached to the nice(?) room with all the boots there was another discussing the war. It had boots of another soldier, and letters written by families/ soldiers. The room also had statistics how much we spend on the war ect.
Just got a Hershey's kiss yum...
It should have just been the shoes. The other room was preaching. Don't get me wrong I am completely against the Iraq war. One hundred percent against it. But the friends committee was preaching to the converted. And to the converted, it was over the top. With them shoving all these facts and things about Haleberton you couldn't really appreciate what the meaning was. They meant to show you what you felt and instead you felt processed... taken advantage of. Reminds me of that movie in Law and Order we watched. The DARE one that i knew something was off about... Well It was all right. The buses were really fun. The way there we played BS which I haven't played forever. The way back hung out with Sam talking about Music. Molli had a magazine and us three sat in the first row.
Today during meeting for worship we talked about the "Eyes Wide Open' exhibit. Meeting for worship was all right... I didn't listen when people spoke. What I wonder is what other people are thinking about. We sit in silence for a half an hour and we all think different thoughts. I thought about my log and how I should be updating... and about what I was going to write. While I looked at everyone I really wanted to know what was in there heads. What was so important that they couldn't forget it for a few minutes. They sit there thinking and stressing and replaying. I know, i've been there. I say that as if you go through mental stages... but i guess its true in some ways. Jim took off his own shoes and put them in the center. Izzy followed and soon the room was swarming with kids standing and sitting. But only ten seconds later the room was quiet and in the middle about 100 pairs of shoes sat there. And all I could think was how fucking exciting it must have been for each kid to stand up and put their shoes in the middle. To show everyone that they think this is cool and they care.
Dru and I felt really guilty that we didn't stand up. We were about to but it quieted down and we got scared.
I'm home now if you didn't guess. Banana bread is in the oven, i'm hungry and waiting for Nina to call about seeing a movie. My tea is cold now... and i'm cold. Georgia just spent the last hour telling me about what other people said to her. I have no problem with this.I asked her to tell me. I just think its interesting. And yet, Jewel is still playing........

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