Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Breakfast Club

The problem is I can't listen to a song all the way through. Whenever it gets near the end I have to go on to the next song. My mind doesn't work in the waiting way. See like now, I love Beulah but I can't reach the end of their song because I have to go on to death cab. My hands are shaking a little and I don't know why. Everything is just folding on top of each other. I don't even know what i'm writing, I'm just trying to get out as much of my thoughts before I have to take a shower. I feel really pretty right now. Inside i'm exploding. I promise you, exploding. Which is really dumb. So I started saying dumb, which is really really dumb. So in Mathletes? I scored worse then 50 people... out of 200. But nate or the other people didn't either so its all good. God I have to tell about athletes sometime. I will, just not today. Tomorrow soccer starts but I have to call my fucking baby-sitting people who expect me, my mom is being annoying about everything, but we can talk about that later too. So um yeah, aaa do you understand what's going through my head right now?!?!? No you don't, and again i'm scared its going to end, whatever it is. Tomorrow is adolescent issues... no classes. None of these songs are right... none of them. I'm in one of those moods where I don't want to listen to anyone, except like dru, or georgia, or my dad. I'm jumping out of my skin hyper but so stressed my stomach hurts. It also hurts because of all the dumb things that people are doing. I don't know, i'm a little basket case sitting at my computer at 11 o clock.
That makes me think of The Breakfast Club. I watched that movie for the first time on the way to camp with nina. We only watched the beginning though, and a councilor who played the saxophone looked like the geek, what's his name. Well this councilor, I have this really clear memory of Nina and I salsa dancing in the middle of our cabin. Both of us talking about the councilor, "He's so sexy, I want to have his babies." And were sallying and everyone's laughing and were pretending to play the saxophone and we crack up laughing. I love Breakfast Club. I love it so much, I want to watch that right now. I'm going to fucking rent it this weekend. I promise you, now that I have it on my mind i'm going to rent it. I watched the Royal Tenenbaums again, did I tell you? It was brilliant. That will be another entry later too I guess.
Salsaing reminded me of today. Henry was my party and we were bloody brilliant, let me tell you. Poor Nate made me go sallying during fifth period instead of walking. Well he didn't make me, I was going to go wherever he went and he wanted to salsa dance. So Aubrey is the amazing dance thing, she's about 6 feet tall and blonde and can move her hips like no tomorrow. So, compared to her we were terrible. But I had so much fun, twirling and dancing. Nate didn't have as much fun I think... which sucks because he made me come. Guys doing salsa; very hot. That is the first semicolon I ever used. Hm, I wonder if it's in the right place. That would be really cool if it was.
I really don't like bowlling for soup. Hey guys, Not to be repetitive but don't be shy. Talk to me please! leave a message!
I talked to Shayna today. I love her, I love her so much. Oh wow i'm in such a weird mood. Please forgive this mess right here. I'm scared it's going to leave again. That's how it is, i'm scared it's going to leave and so I need to do something before it does. I wont ever get the chance though i promise you. Watching the DSA play on fri. with Georgia and Dru and oh Matt. Um joy. Actually i'm really excited. Made fudge with Mariah tonight for Emma's birthday. Maybe its sad I really enjoy hanging out with kids two years younger then me. I don't know, they look at everything differently and better.
I miss Brittany Spears, her in her peak of greatness. Even if she could come back like she did with Toxic. I really love that song. Oh god my stomach hurts, I can't tell if it's just because i'm nervous about life or because i'm getting sick.So do you see how i'm rambling on and on. That's because my journal is all filled up! Yes the one I started about a year ago. Written on every single page both sides. If you've ever seen my journal you know it's huge. Seriously huge. I'm so proud you have no idea. Holy shit now i'm crying, not seriously just a little bit. Because everyone's growing up and leaving and I don't know, I think i'm having a break down. A weird break down
I got on Dru's back today during lunch. After school we were sitting outside eating lollypops and Michael came up. It was such a gorgeous day. I was so happy. I came home after watching the 'game' and ran around with my dog for an hour. I feel like i've been home for only ten minutes but i've been sitting at my computer on and off for the last 4 hours.
Back street's back all right... I miss them too. 'Nsync more though. Oh wow oh wow my mind sucks it does. I'm so annoying. God I need to sleep or i'm going to end up spilling some stuff on here that shouldn't be put online. Ow my lips are chapped, where is my blistex. Scrubs was great. Blech... you know i'm really good right now. very very good. I bet that doesn't surprise you anymore.


Blogger rebecca said...

hey!!! i luv ur blog hahaha i always read it dont worry :) check out mine ~

dont call me, just

i miss you so much!! call me sometime i cant wait to see you again. omg i remember you and nina dancing in our cabin.....and i remember you guys telling me ALL about the breakfast club! well i luv you lots......check out my blog. email me or something

love, rebecca

5:29 PM  

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