Monday, February 07, 2005

Ch-check check It Out

I can not believe it's already the seventh. I can't believe time is going by so fast.
does anyone read this thing anymore?? Really?

No one was at school. My classes were slack and good fun. 4th period Dru and I put on Ryan's Dance mix and blasted Send Me On My Way. We were trying to get David to take us out to lunch, and crash Leon's classes party. So ignoring Henry's groans we jump on the table and start to dance. It was only us four in the annex so we could be as loud as we wanted. I'm clumsy. Its a pretty well known fact. I'm the one who always falls and breaks something, i'm the one who entertains. So when I knock over the container of markers on the table we burst out laughing as I duck down to pick them up. Send Me On My Way is still playing when David finally stands up and lets us run to his car. We bring the CD's and Dru and I sit in the back. The entire ride we listen to Send Me On My Way... as embarrassing as it is... doing our own interpretive dances in the back of the car best we can. We were about to leave brueggers later when I realized Blue Coffee Guy (MARK!) was working. Trying to think of an excuse to go in to the coffee shop I decided I would pick up The Independent (a local weekly newspaper) and pretend that's why I went in. Walking in I waved to Mark, (who btw has no fucking idea who I am) grabbed the newspaper, whispered to Dru and Henry "That's Him", smiled again at Mark, grabbed Dru And Henry, and ran.

Ryan,Dru, and I skipped meeting for Worship because we had to work on music. Us three are really weird together. Ryan and Dru are a weird combination I think on their own. They both do this thing that when the look at each other any time during the day they crack up hysterically. So when your the third wheel its hard. I love them both a lot though, but we kept fighting over the stupidest things. Not actual fighting just getting annoyed. Ryan I believe likes Dru... Maybe i'm wrong but ... it doesn't really matter. Basically we all like music and were sitting there with my laptop rearranging songs. Whenever Dru and I would protest a Rap song Ryan would come in "The rap community will like it." The rap community?!?!? Dru and I kept looking at each other and sniggering. "But," I would say. "We're not the rap community." Then Mollie comes in to tell us that the entire school can hear us cursing because were so loud. We start to laugh and can't stop.
While Dru was at french Ryan and I walk in the tutor room. You know when you are somewhere and the exact same thought crosses both peoples minds? Well the minute we walk in the room all I can think is, hey this would be the perfect place to make out with someone. Then I start feeling guilty for this thought but Ryan breaks the silence by saying..."I bet this is one of the places Sam and Georgia made out." For some reason I laugh, snigger and say "my thoughts exactly."

The "Rap community" didn't like the dance. Near the end Ryan comes up to me and Dru and says "I don't think the Rap community is enjoying themselves." And I go, "That's because the rap community consists of everyone except us three." Most of the songs you really could dance to. Just no one has ever been to a concert or place where you have to dance to something besides "Move Ya Body." Email me if you want the play list... it took forever and i'd love to hear what people think. Georgia was upset about things partly because Sam wasn't there but also other things i'm not going to write about. It's her business... but lets just say I agree with her. So, I had a lot of fun. No one else did but as I was the only one dancing and who knew the music I really enjoyed myself. They're something weird about school dances though. Especially at our school where there are only 3 black kids there. White kids can't dance. Except me of course, actually kidding because i can't dance or sing ar do anything cool like that. Ryan and Sam wore rainbow suspenders because they thought that would be cool... welcome to friends school. The second to last song I told Skyler had to be "Send Me On My Way". Dru's stomach was hurting but I dragged her out when it started to play. Holy shit me, Ryan, Dru, and Samantha danced my friends. We were having an awesome time. Its a hard song to danced to but we danced, we danced all over the floor. I keep playing that song on repeat while in my room. Not quite the same effect.

One thing happened at the Dance though. I started wanting for this one guy to like me. I kept watching him out of the corner of my eye wondering if he was looking at me. I know that's kind of lame right? How I would avoid his eye and wonder if he would notice me smiling at my friends. Once in awhile I would realize what I was doing and I would curse under my breath. This also happened a few months ago. I desperately wanted this other certain person to like me. I didn't like them, just as I don't like this person now. Don't worry I don't like them i'm sure, pretty sure. But the other person, I kind of started to like without me realizing it. So i kept thinking about that, and kept thinking about it. After the dance all of us piled in Georgia's car. While she changed the radio station i double buckled with molli, and dru with aja. She was behind me in the farthest back seat and I was in the middle one. I leaned back and we started talking about the person... She doesn't know all this but she'll find out. We talked about Math class for awhile and how that was such a different environment. Wow math class... but if you're there everyday you know what i'm talking about. Both of us were tired and not really wanting to be in this car. So while the Dido played we talked. I think it was the best talk i've had with Dru for awhile. I know it sounds like I only talk to her. It's just that she happens to be with me for everything. I have a lot of friends though it might not seem like it. I love them just as much, just in this past three days I hung out with her the most.

I skipped second period today because I came in to class, throwing my backpack on the floor, looking at Rachel and stating "I'm not okay." We talked for a second then she sent me to walk around the building and talk to Mig. I stood on the wooden slabs that separate the field from the sidewalk. I walked up and down them trying to clear my mind. My eye turned red because I slept in my contacts Saturday night. As Sam said bluntly "haha, you looked wasted or stoned or something." Thanks Sam. I tried to think about how I can't tell anyone about anything anymore. But I used to really want to, but now I don't even care. Instead it's easier to keep everything inside so I don't have to explain myself. I don't sleep anymore and when I do its so light I have these vivid dreams. Maybe i'm thinking about this guy thing to much. He's not in my dreams though, don't worry that was unrelated. I found myself at the Library minutes later and started talking to Mig. She has this magical power that she can make you want to say anything. When she came up to me before first period she asked me if anything was wrong. Before I knew it I burst in to tears. "Everything,"


Blogger Molli said...

hah rebecca i love how you said "snigger" so many times, iths such a Draco Malfoy word. Holy shit i kan't believe i just said that...

4:42 PM  

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