Wednesday, April 20, 2005

20 Questions

That was yesterday.

This and yesterdays entry used to be only one but i feel guilty for publishing four pages all at once. This is only three now.

I've calmed down a bit

So Matt Bantering as I promised. ;)
Fencing is great
Yeah, haha, yeah. I guess i'm talking about yesterday now.
I was fine for awhile. Well Matt was being great. Really, really great. Which kind of sucks because then I miss him more over the week. No, kidding, its great, I love it. Well the coaches are slowly starting to catch on to us flirting continuously. A few many comments were made. Even when I thought we were being pretty good. But I guess not. :) Subtleness is not our strong point. Evon would make a comment and Matt would put his arm around me so she would notice, and maybe I didn't want his arm to move so I kind of would stand there as she rolled her eyes. Yeah, the energy at fencing is different. Suddenly i'm let out of my little hole in the wall at CFS and am on my own. I have to fend for myself and I love that. So, lets see now I feel terrible because Matt was being really sweet and I wasn't responding that much. You know, the small things... wanting to be my partner for some drill, waiting for me at the water fountain, definitely paying more attention to me then the new ninth grade girl who came.

All day no one had listened to me. Actually for the past three days no one had actually listened. Maybe Matt didn't actually listen, and if he wasn't he was good at pretending because, finally someone was willing for me to say to them... This is what's going on, listen for a second. For once someone doesn't blow me off when I tell them my parents got in a fight, or i'm not okay. I'm fine now and writing it seems trivial, but I was upset last night, for some reason that honestly doesn't matter much. But then it did and one person was willing enough to actually stop his story half way through to listen for a minute. Then of course I actually do love hearing about ryan's new issue, or Jon's.

And on top of all that damn does he look hot when he gets sweaty.

I half apologized later for my bad mood which he denied me being in and that whole conversation *cough* *cough* kind of ended with me hitting his tooth on accident. Hehe, good times.
Sorry Matt
My shortness is a weakness what can I say.

Joe wasn't here so instead this girl subbed in. Sadly enough everyone teaches us better than Joe. Well I beat Pierce 3-2 and Matt only beat me 3-2 which means I can't be THAT bad. Then Josh who is great, said I did really well and I only got hit by him a few times. See, my problem is, and always has been that I know what i'm doing wrong. I'm just not doing it right.

AND! Guess what I just did! I ordered fencing equipment at triplette. YES!!!! So by tuesday Rebecca is going to have fencing stuff. Which means I don't have to use the shitty ones at the gym anymore.

Sam told me two days ago that I have to shut up about fencing and "no body cares."


Fencing is super, so last night my day got a little better.

Today was the epitome of Friends School. I spent the entire day with Spencer H. walking aimlessly around the school being lost and not doing what we were supposed to.

The problem with my school as I have brought up before is, not only is it a communist country, the kids, when they don't have to do something don't do it. Today NC state took over while our regular teachers had day long conferences which later Mig described after I asked her how it was. "A six hour conference on language arts, yeah, it was long."

Spencer is still madly in love with Jeramie and spends most of his time telling me to hook them up. Though I did make him play twenty questions with me and he couldn't guess my pom-pon ball one which I was very proud of. Then again I couldn't guess Violin, so were even. Spencer's that kid that in the center the other day we were waiting for a slideshow to go up and he yells, pushing Connor (who evidently my friends and I got Joe to kind of beat up after he pushed Patrick down and made him cry) over, "SHUT THE FUCK UP" Everyone gets silent. Of course that's also me who says fuck kind of quietly to Jeramie at the same time as all the younger kids and our hippie student-teacher from NCSU get quiet. Today was the day that while we were walking around attempting to find orange things (Long story, it was our color) the yellow team sat out on the structures getting read to by some other student (who evidently had gotten mad at Georgia, Jeramie, Sam, and me because we were lying on the couches in Robert's room instead of picking up pizza in the center though no one was but she just assumed if we saw half a pizza lying in the middle of the room we should pick it up.) read to them about a catepiller. Grace, Colin, and Thomas all mouth to me across the stream. Were out in the woods remember. "Save us, please, help us somehow please, please, help us. Get us out of here." I looked at them sadly sighed, mouthed "I'm sorry! I wish there was something I could do," Then left, sadly looking back at my tortured peers, following the student teachers and the group of little kids in my group to find more orange things which we actually never found. Later Thomas told me I should have picked up a rock and thrown it to knock her out. I told him I would have if their was any good rocks lying around. I don't think he got that I was kidding.

When you have 141 kids who really don't HAVE to be anywhere or do anything the activities that these hopefuls students think are going to work don't. I felt so bad for these hopefuls teachers, we all paid no attention in the morning, ran off somewhere in the afternoon and barely got it together to stay in one place for settling out. Though in the end I think one of our two guys, the non hippie one was warming up to me as he let me look at his Best of National Geographic Photos book. Though he wanted to show off all the animal pictures while I spent my time in the human section. He was a nice guy though and I hoped we hadn't given him to much hell.

Georgia and Dru weren't exactly mean to me today, they were just absent, not there, i wasn't connected. And at least Georgia recognized my existence and I had a fun time talking about fencing with her and Sam. She turns to me while he's next to her and says, "Tell me as if its just me, he wont care." So I did, and Sam kind of gasped once then Georgia flicked him which was nice and I continued with my story. Surprisingly enough Sam didn't say anything. Maybe he realized were better at come backs then he thinks. A week ago, Georgia, Molli and Me were all in Rachel's room and Sam comes in. Slowly the conversation got on the subject of Matt, Sam said something and Georgia turns to him and says, "Well, Matt has her." She paused, "And you don't so..."


I thanked Georgia profusely for this one. Dru won't really recognize my existence or talk to me, so i've just given up. Instead i'll go inside and listen to James Taylor and Rusted root that Ryan is blasting out and dancing to in the center. Banners will be up from the small art thing we had done this morning. The teachers are gone but instead timid young people hang around the sidelines. We referee ourselves today, and suddenly the absence of Ida telling us to throw away our plastic bags means we don't. Aja jumps on the CD player demanding that this hippie music stops. The air conditioning died a few degrees ago, Sam R. is wrapping himself up with purple streamers, Nate M. is messing with the glitter glue that Sam had put on his shirt. Georgia adjusts her skirt and smiles knowingly at Sam S. They have secrets. Jeramie points to Spencer and makes a choking motion. I attempt to mouth something to Molli who is sitting on her stomach in front of me. She doesn't get it and instead mouths I love you! To me, I give up and mouth back, I love you too. Dru isn't anywhere. Usually someone I can always find she's absent. Ryan is taller and louder then everyone and I can hear him all the way across the room. His striped sweater contrasts against the tiny Zuri who's wearing black. Nate V. is next to them and he sits, smiling in that way he always does. Earlier Sam and I had been doing this exact thing with the video camera. We would zoom in to one person who had no idea that we were recording them. Of course with Sam's obsession the camera was mostly on Georgia. She looked fine, nothing bad was said about her, but you could catch that one second when she hears someone say something and turns. She looks surprised. Or Sam S. when we focused on him messing with his hair, and giving Ryan a huge slap on the back. I want to watch that tape again, just to see if people are different when they don't know your watching.

Its almost settling out but the lights aren't out quite yet. I sigh and sit back in my chair. I turn to Spencer who's around near me... "Okay, so, you don't have one, its wood and bigger then a bread box."
"Wait, how big is a bread box again?"


Blogger Jeramie said...

gah!! the yellow student teachers were really mean!! you missed randy, anna ruth, maxine and me hanging out near the creek. we were kinda skipping the whole "activity," while actually just talking. then patrick, and eric z joined us, and randy and eric ganged up and splashed should have been there, it was really fun. or were you actually doing what we were supposed to be doing???

6:32 PM  
Blogger georgia said...

"Georgia adjusts her skirt and smiles knowingly at Sam S.".......? I am not mad at you! It sounds like I am this awful person in your last two entries...maybe I have been, but I haven't meant to because I am NOT mad at you! I swear, I stick with what I said earlier, except I stick with it in a nicer way than you put it :) and I am sorry that all that seemed that way all in one day, I hate days like that when everyone thinks they can be mean and get away with it. Not knowing that everyone else was doing that too. I don't know if that makes sense, but I hope you get what I mean. So again, I wasn't meaning to do that, but I really am sorry it felt that way. I'll talk to you if you want to, about anything.

7:19 PM  

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