Thursday, June 02, 2005

One Week

So I lied... I can't write not tonight not enough to make my point clear.

In this exact moment I am so happy I am me, because their are the few things I really don't like right now, but I'm so glad i'm handling them instead of someone else, because they're my fault any ways.

My neck stopped hurting this morning! Yay! I can kind of turn it again.... hehe good times. Do you realize i've been blogging for seven months?

I'm leaving tomorrow with my mom and my brother for Florida and its going to be fun, but I just want to be there already. For some reason i'm dreading the move, the travel and how I realized its my last week of school and i'm going to miss one day out of the seven we have left and I feel like i'm missing everything. No one's here any ways, today at lunch, Aja, Joe, Sam, Leia, Thomas and ... me hung out at the pottery studio, the upper school side and just talked and ate strawberries and kicked each other for an hour. It was the most fun i've had at lunch in awhile.

So, its only eleven thirty and I should be able to write but for the last two days i've been writing more then I think I ever have before. When I get home Sunday sometime maybe i'll share some stuff. No one believes I can be having such a good time, but they don't understand how journal writing for seven hours three days straight with fifth and sixth graders, and Emily can be the best exploritorium besides Adam's last year. Guys, its this room full of this ever astounding love. These children are so innocent so expecting and so excited. Emily's jumping out of her skin with happiness and on Monday when we gathered in Mig's apartment where she is staying and went over the lesson plan I couldn't wait for the next day. Don't make fun of me, you don't know what your missing. We're doing over some entries I did myself in sixth grade. I was allowed to introduce myself before break on Tuesday and these kids are respecting what i'm saying. I'm more intelligent around Emily. The first thing I write in my journal the first time we can free right ... "Finally time is standing still so I can catch up to myself" because its true... I have no idea what's going on. Then, I wrote this other piece based on the question, Where are you now? And I read over my sixth grade one and its all about how happy I am but so bored with this happiness. Of course Emily style first, you make a little clay sculpture thing and then write a piece from the point of view of your sculpture. You know me, I don't take anything literally, so I wrote this piece and I didn't like it but I liked my sculpture and the kids thought it was amazing which is cute because they love me and usually kids don't like me. This is my crowd though, the ones who sit and write instead of jumping up to play soccer. I hate sports, so do they, it works out nice. These children are brilliant, i'll talk more about that when I get back, but they are so in love with Emily and so invested in impressing people, they do the hardest work they can. My introduction was short, and I talked about how journal writing had influenced me... blabla... but I stressed this blog. Kept talking about how outlets are good. I don't know, I got this huge fucking sketchbook from Barnes and Noble and its black and thick and huge and I love it. It's been two days and the pages are filled with my black ink. Emily is in to free writing every morning as a way of letting out the things blocking your creativity. I'm so not kidding. This morning she handed out this quote and I wrote this two page thing on religion and spirituality and the way were really all cattle and then I read it over and realized It was kind of harsh and cruel to the human race, though it expresses my opinion well. I've never written so many things that I actually think in such a short amount of time. I bet, if my hand didn't hurt and I had all the time in the world I could fill that whole thing I can talk so much. I'm not going to talk about the assignments and how fun it was to revisit them now. My mom just came in to tell me to sleep and I guess maybe I will.

I'm going to tell you about my class though, my kids now. Like how Dave used to call us his soccer team, their my journal writing class. Eric Whittier who's dad was my photography teacher last year, who I did Mathletes with this year, sixth grade and who is called by most "Harry Potter kid," because he looks exactly like Harry Potter. Well I turn to him yesterday after he surprises me with his comments, "Hey Eric," I say, "I think your my soul mate." He looks at me, then looks away expressionless. "Maybe," says the sixth grader.

Fencing somehow is a Journal writing sport as three out of the four boys in the class fence. So, because boys are a lot slower at art projects I find myself helping out the boys and we talk about our common ground. I ask Alexander to teach me how to play Dungeons and Dragons, he tells me its incredibly hard to explain but Eric's the master. Eric! I yell across the room, you want to teach me how to play Dungeons and Dragons. With the same expression he had used the day before he looks at me, Sure, Why not. So we discuss fencing tactics and plaster each others hands and write stories about the meaning of life. One more day though, and then next week and its all over. I wrote a story today, I don't think i've actually written a fiction type piece in about two years. Its weird, I like it a lot, and I didn't do what the assignment was told but I had already done it two years ago so I wrote this complicated thing that took up three hours of my day. I can not believe I wrote a story, you're not supposed to admit to that.

So, more on this later. The nicest part of today was when asked by Aja who was their closest friends who were girls Sam R. responds, I think this one right here, pointing to me and I was like oh sam really? thanks! and I gave him a hug and then he's like its only because I talk to her the most, which is true, and hes trying to make Aja feel better but when asked what girl they would like to do stuff with both jump on her. Joe also said he could talk to me, so, its the friend thing again but honestly that made my day. Georgia's upset and I feel like i'm helpless I can't help her. Wow, I feel really weird this week, so focused not running away with myself. I think it might just be the lack of stress of living so much. We need to soak up enough life in this week though.

My parents are laughing in their room to Jon Stewart, I'm talking to Joe online and hes desperately waiting for this entry and so as I promised to joe.... JOE IS GREAT (joe its capital but i'm to fucking lazy to make it any bigger). No, but its true he is and an entire post on his blog is dedicated to me because were both up past midnight on a wednesday night. New kids coming to our school! Potluck... was weird, separated, clique, but not that bad. I'm worried about Matt. Somethings wrong and he told me he had to figure it out himself which I know he can do but idk its like with Georgia I feel helpless, maybe he doesn't need my help but I want to you know listen I guess though maybe those days are over. all right I really have to go, but sunday, or monday, or something I'll post some stuff from the past two days, and I realized everyone really just in the end loves themselves so I will go back to talking about everyone in great detail so you can scan for your name and read about you some more. ;) Look at Georgia's blog guys... she has a really brutally honest entry that people should check out. I love you Dru! you said i don't mention you anymore... look look... your name! One line has been going through my head all day, counting crows and I don't know why this line of anything I haven't listened to this song for ages but this one line popped in to my head and I can't seem to get it out....
"Believe in me because I don't believe in anything
and I want to be someone to believe"

What's with that?!?!?!


Blogger joe said...

damn right im GREAT!! your great!!! we are the best!! and not only do u get a blog entry dedicated completely to u... you get the best comment ever completely dedicated to u!! be honored and bask in thineself!!

12:58 AM  
Blogger Ruthie said...

I hate everything : )

3:41 PM  
Blogger Ruthie said...

except ur blog

3:41 PM  
Blogger georgia said...

woah i completly forgot you were going to disney world....lucky. hey, do you know bloc party? i like them. it sucks i don't get to see you before you leave, but monday will be cool (i guess). yeah, i'm know what that means. the vet sucked, a lot. that was my day, but there was a hot guy at eurosport so it was ok, that was fun (not just because of that). sorry to depress your blog like this, but i thought id comment so you didn't think i had died or drowned. later.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Jeramie said...

If that line was a quote, i'd say it was a really good quote.

6:33 PM  
Blogger Rebecca said...

thanks for the comments ;)

woah ruthie whats wrong with you :) care to explain your confusion...

And Jeramie, what quote?

4:37 PM  

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