Saturday, December 24, 2005


Its one in the morning

It's taken me to long to actually write this entry. I had to make myself a motivational playlist though, and I can't write anything when its light outside. So I was stuck with waiting until it got dark. It took me three hours to decorate my cookies today. But it was a three hours that i listened to christmas music and felt overly retrospective. I danced around my kitchen a little, but mostly just let myself think about things I haven't had the time to think about in the past few days. Last night I fell asleep in my clothes at 11. This morning i woke up completely dressed with no idea how it happened. I have no idea why i've been so tired. But I think i'm really profound when i'm making cookies. I think i'm funny and thoughtful, and clever, and interesting, and then I finished and the bounds of my greatness didn't reach outsides the levels of me standing against the counter with sprinkles. Spencer called me though which was even more of a challenge because i had to sometimes hold the phone and other times put him on speaker phone which means that Myrian might have heard a lot more about Spencer's life than she wanted. Also, during the three hours while i toiled I taught my brothers the words to my humps. Any ways basic picture of the cookies. Black and White picture, as well as a picture that makes you feel like your a cookie yourself. Which I mean is always our goal.

I've listened to the same song seven times in the last two days. Nick Drake's cover of Don't Think Twice It's Aright. We never did to much talking any ways... and that's the line that runs through my head a thousand times while i try to figure out why that has some meaning.

I borrowed my moms non-digital camera from her room today and found film somewhere in the house to use. Later though i bought more film at this place on ninth street so tomorrow I can run around taking pictures of everything.

It's Christmas Eve now. Of course i didn't finish this entry yesterday like I planned. I was going to walk to Ninth street and write but Nina called me and wanted to hang out. So instead we walked around ninth street for awhile. There was this guy though who was walked by us four times, with these huge headphones talking to himself. Nina wasn't deciding fast enough about what to get her sister so i sat outside on the playhouse steps and he walked by twice. I got a picture when he was walking away from me, but it was right in the sun so i'm not sure it will turn out. But we'll see when we get the film developed.

I've grown up since London.
That sounds Ridiculous.
I think its true though.

I found a cover of James Taylor singing Joni Mitchell's River. That and Aretha Franklin are pretty much all that i'm thinking about right now. Besides Christmas, but that's a given.

I'm also starting to think i'm not going to finish this entry tonight because all i can think about is Christmas. And all my others thoughts are blocked by a few major distractions. My minds jumping from my dog, to the tree, to other people, to santa clause, to my pictures, to aretha franklin... and then it stays there until i remember its christmas tomorrow.

Berry just walked in while we were eating dinner tonight.
We ask him if he wants to sit down and he says sure, and then he asks if we like ham. He then tells us he's going to get us some ham. He's going to bring us some ham. So we wait for a second wondering if he's going to go get the ham but instead he pulls a chair from the dining room in to the kitchen.
"This Ham," He says, "Is the best Ham around, its beautiful, I hope you like ham because this ham this ham is wonderful."
"Mhmm, ham sounds great. Prime Ribs?"
"Yes please! wow a feast a feast."
And my mom gets giddy over the compliments of her cooking.
"Any ways when are we getting that teepee party started again? We should go out there tonight. Drink a little, i swear tomorrow that ham that ham."
My dad made a caption for the New Yorker and we all talked about it for a good half an hour. But for the next forty minutes whenever there was silence my dad would laugh hysterically. "its just, its just, so funny, so funny."
My very religious aunt comments on what we've been talking about for the past ten minutes.
"Yeah its weird when christians think Jesus is their best friend."
and our neighbor says "Right, cause you catholics, jesus pounds you hard. He just keeps pounding you and pounding you. Mary's your man then. Mary's your man."
And then i'm laughing, hard, and unhelpful add, "Religions just ridiculous any ways."

Georgia and Dru were over last Saturday. Ask me about it sometime. Here's a picture of me sound asleep looking five years old.

Lame early in the morning realization. Right now, my hairs up, i'm in pj pants and the shirt i wore today and i look as different as i can from that picture. But its still exactly the same. its me. Except it feels completely different. Any ways enough of me being stupid. Merry Christmas. I'm excited, i hope you are.


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